I Need.

I need a notebook.  I need inspiration.  Motivation.  Ingenuity.  An outlet for creativity.  A job.  Money.  Steak.  And ribs.  Mmm.

But really, I need to learn how to be genuine.  Genuine with my work, genuine with my time, genuine with my ambition, genuine with my desires, genuine with my relationships with people, genuine with my relationship with God.  How many times have I deceived myself that I had good reason in all the decisions that I've made?  And yet, I come to the conclusion that a wise man had come to many, many years ago.  Meaningless. Meaningless.  All is vain.  All is vanity.  Have I reached a point of depression?  A slump?  Or am I finally moving on and growing up from idealism to realism.  Either way, in every way, I need.  I can't continue to be stifled, to stifle, to be deceived, to deceive.  It's time to become more genuine.  It's time to become more real with myself.