Notes and Reflections.

I'm still here!  Surprisingly enough, ehe.  I don't know if anyone still reads this, but I guess a lot of my blog entries serve as my diary entries.  I feel I need to write down the things that have happened and the things that are happening right now -- for present reflection, for future reflection.  For thanksgiving and for growth.

In any case, much has happened since I've last written.  For one thing, I graduated from my Masters program!  When I look back at my two years in grad school, the first thing that I realize is that time goes by really fast.  I mean really super ultra fast.  And I start to wonder if all the time and money were worth the education I received.  Probably?  Or probably not, but I think I've come out of the program less naive.  I wouldn't say more mature because I still don't have a clear idea what I want to do in terms of career.

I'm looking for a job in public health.  I feel I've just started searching, applying, and waiting.  Nothing has turned up yet, but I am still hopeful.  More updates to come later.

I have a new roommate -- Kim!  She's a lot of fun, and we have a blast living in our new apartment together.  Much of our time is spent sitting in the living room, turning on a movie in the background, working on our computers, cooking meals, and eating together.  I am really blessed to have her as a roommate!

My sister is married.  I spent two to three months in California helping her with her wedding that took place at the end of July.  Wedding preparation was slow progress, but we got there, and the wedding turned out beautifully.  I still can't believe she's married.  But at the same time, I can.  It's different.  I've mentioned it before, but as much as I'm happy for my sister, I feel as if I've lost a big piece of home.  We now have different names, different families, different paths, and different lives.  It's sad in many ways, but I guess this is just a part of growing up.  Life.

I am now a member of a church!  Maranatha Grace Fort Lee.  It's pretty (well, really) exciting.  This is my first time becoming an official member of a church.  Much of my childhood and junior high/high school years were spent at my dad's church (at which I guess I was a member by default), and much of my college years were spent serving in a campus ministry but not a single church.  I'm realizing more and more the importance of being a member of a local body, not only for genuine community, but for spiritual growth and edification, and ultimately for the effective preaching and sharing of the Gospel.  I love the community of people at this church, and I love that everything is centered around the Gospel.  I've missed this.  I needed this.  I need this.

I miss Africa.  How are you really doing?  Carlos, the local volunteers, the Maforga missionaries, the girls, Betina.  I want to see and experience again.  I want to go again.  Maybe for a longer and more indefinite period of time.  More of the people, more of the simplicity, more of their love, more of God's workings in that place.   I feel I was meant to do more there.  Is this longing a calling?  If so, what tools and talents do I have, and what talents can I invest in for this calling?

I miss my family.  The togetherness that was once us.

I need to pray more.  Relationships.  Ki Won.  Marriage.  Life.

I need to understand more.  I need to love more.  I need more humility.  I need more wisdom.  I need to let go of my pride.

How.


Some notes and reflections from James:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.  


Who is wise and understanding among you?  By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.  But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.  This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but it is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.


But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peacable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere.  And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.